| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
Speak Up!
Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent? You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to speak...and then didn't. What stopped you? Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension to the discussion or change the decision about to be made. You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send? Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a department of a public sector organization. This brought together four people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making. The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers' offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea. Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged. The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions. The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the 'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal. The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is easy. In fact, it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do? With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak! When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting, formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice, things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your responsibility. A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to step in and take that opportunity. AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _________ part of your opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in part, will encourage them to listen to you. USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may capture their attention. HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view and, therefore, be more likely to express them. BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets done! Who wants interminable meetings? Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so. About The Author Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, speaks, coaches & conducts seminars for organizations who want to motivate their people, and for individuals who want to achieve their dreams. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit http://www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today. For permission to reprint this article, please contact mailto:Jane@OptimizeLifeNow.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can use it in many aspects of your life to achieve certain goals and to ultimately effect the way YOU want to feel. You Too Can Have Charisma Do you know anyone that everyone seems to be drawn to? You continue to watch as this person moves around the room attracting and chatting with and making friends with many people.What do they have that you don't think you have? Charisma. I'll Believe It When I See It I was working with this guy who wanted to live his life's purpose. He wanted to be a singer but was presently working as a mail clerk at a law firm. What is Intution and How do I use it? Intuition is an incredible resource and gift that we have been given to help us live our best life. Unfortunately, not many people know what it is or how to use it. Create Your Best Life "You can create what you want in life; first you have to imagine it clearly. Imagine your ideal scene," Marc Allen, The Millionaire Course. The Cliché of Balance The world we are living in is changing at a fast pace. Never before in the history of mankind that change was so enormous and rapid. The Self Appreciation Enhancer Very often when you are talking to people what you really want deep down is to feel significant, liked and important. Consequently you watch what you are saying and are careful not to say the wrong thing. What Do You Want Out of Life? What are you willing to give up in order to achieve that?We have all heard the old saying that there are no free lunches, right? Well, that is so true that it could have been one of the Ten Commandments. In order to receive anything we must be willing to give something and the amount that we receive is directly proportionate to that which we are willing to give - be it material things or time. Raw Love We are all different. We are all the same. Live Your Own Life Are you living your life, the way you want to live?If your reply is in affirmative then you must be a very successful and powerful person in full command of your life and the circumstances. However, if your reply is in negative, then I am sorry to say that you are like millions of other people who are living the life being dictated by others. You Think That You're Listening?. But Are You Actually Hearing What Im Saying? "We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we speak" - Epictetus, Greek Stoic Philosopher. (55AD-135AD)In our fast-paced culture conversations have little to do with communication - they are about talking. What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me? There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to help people understand one another.One of the areas that causes a lot of grief in business and especially in relationships, is that no matter what category you fall into you are either a:Say Show FeelDiscovering what the other person is in this area, can take you a long way in building relations, credibility, confidence and the ability to make the other person happy. Self Improvement and Self Growth Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too. Do Your Things Own You? Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit unused? Is it that you don't have time to use them because you have to work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the things we own somehow own us.The bad news is that it's often true. How to Improve Your Love Life with the Power of Feng Shui - Without Spending a Dime! FENG shui (say "fung shway") is the art of creating a home environment that supports the life you wish to live. A key element of feng shui is creating a smooth flow of chi (positive energy) through your space. The Joy Of Living In The Zone What do people want most in the world? What is the most sought-after goal? From the moment we awaken to the moment we close our eyes at night, what is it we seek every minute of the day?We want to feel good. The primary motivation behind every action we take is the desire to feel happy. The Art of Possibility "Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilledpotential. Success Is In Your Hands - For Things To Change, I Must Change First! Do you know that many people feel they cannot achieve what they want in life because they are not in control of their circumstances? Is it really so?How many times have you heard this: "If only I had creativity like him, I would be able to develop innovative Internet Marketing products," or "if only I had the money to start the e-commerce business, then I would be able to set up a business"? Do you know that all these things are within our control the moment we change ourselves?It sounds unbelievable but it's true! This requires a shift in your paradigm of thinking and it moves you from a powerless state to a state where you can actually take control. We will now take a look at 3 ordinary people like you and me who are able to achieve what they want in life through this simple principle. The Universal Laws Of Attraction You know it's funny how some people just seem to have all the luck in the world. Infact in some cases it almost seems to be unfair. Are You The Driver Or The Passenger? In your journey through life are you the "driver" or the "passenger"?Let me be perfectly clear what I mean about this statement. In other words, do you take charge of your own life? Do you make the judgment and set the goals for what you want your life to be like? - Or - Do you let others influence you and follow in their footsteps?This is a very important question you should be answering.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
