| |
| |
|
Humor Information |
|
|
|
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans Forever If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans! Because once they're gone, there wouldn't be any more: - Due dates - Interest charges - at any rate of interest - Late fees or penalties - Liens - Applications or rejections - Credit reports [Old joke - If it weren't for bad credit, I wouldn't have any credit at all] - Playing catch-up month after month And that means all the related emotional frustrations vanish as well. That would certainly make a lot of people happier. Don't you think? Instead of lending money, how about just giving it away? That should make everyone happier still. Imagine a bank saying, "Help yourself - and never worry about paying it back." If it doesn't matter whether money ever gets repaid - there goes accounting and bookkeeping. There goes financial records. There goes debt - along with bad debt. But that's not a stretch for a bank that re-writes the rules. If you thought familiar bank policies were cast in stone, think again. Up with Emotional Solvency - Down with Debt A whimsical bank that just started on the Internet eliminates debt and loans. Won't touch 'um. No way, for nobody. That's because it rates a person's emotional health higher than their financial wealth. This quirky website places more value on emotional solvency than wealth accumulation. Huh? How's that possible? It's the logical (illogical, more like it) outcome of putting feelings first. And its other policies are equally unprecedented and unique. http://www.joyfulbanker.com/goofypoliciesdept.html The Joyful Banker is a parody of all things financial. It just wants to make you happy - and it wants to keep money worries at bay (even if only for a little while). It exists solely to amuse and delight. To make people feel both generous and rich - with access to unlimited money (admittedly funny munny). This site delivers a high level of frivel (wordplay), giggle, and absurdity in the process. People are More Valuable than Money... Really Joyful Banker's avowed purpose is to deliver joy and up-beat energy to all comers. But it can't pull it off without putting money in its rightful place - which isn't first place. Or even second. This is the only bank on the planet devoted to what's really valuable - relationships, generosity, kindness and joy. Joyful Banker is the Mother Lode of Binkle Lore and Wisdom A binkle is the energy that's created when people really connect with each other, with nature, or anything that inspires. It's the zizz of energy one feels. Although the word is new that feeling is not. It's been part of every profound or happy experience you can remember. That sensation is always called something else: love, awe, the thrill, peace, inspiration, etc. But the energy of that moment is binkle energy. This joyous website is devoted to increasing binkle energy in any way possible http://www.joyfulbanker.com/binklepage.html It's not hard to find binkles showing up anywhere - if you're looking for them. Can't have too many. But if you run low, just come beck to fetch some more. Probably should warn you - it's addictive. The zizz of binkle energy keeps you constantly alert for how to get more. And if you can't find any... that's a downer. But a moment of caring and sharing is sure to get them flowing. The Binkle Standard Simplifies Your Life 1. Spend MORE of your time and attention with people (or activities) that give binkles 2. Spend LESS time and attention on people (or activities) that drain binkle energy 3. Pass it around! Leave a trail of binkles wherever you go That's it! But the rewards you feel cannot be exaggerated. Playing "spot the binkle" sure beats a Do List when it comes to banishing stress. Not to mention, it attracts some pretty nice people. There are still a few bugs being worked out. The funny munny is just for fun. Not to knock fun, but you can't use joy bucks to pay the phone bill. Come to the Joyful Banker for Binkles and Joy Anyone who comes to the website has an account (their email address), so can partake in the Unlimited Withdrawals or Open Vault policies. This is one financial institution that won't leave you empty handed. Or empty hearted, either. 2005, Lynella Grant This is Part 1 of a 5-part series. Read the rest http://www.joyfulbanker.com/articles.html --Lynella Grant The Joyful Banker, a parody of all things financial http://www.joyfulbanker.com The funnest, most joyous fool service non-bank in the world. With unlimited withdrawals. Off the Page Press (719) 395-9450 mailto:banker@joyfulbanker.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Humor - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Humor Under The Keyboards For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This? IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee, or got your kids fed, If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house, While others in the family get ready, your still moving a mouse.If you have more friends online, than you do in real life, And hubby refers to you as his cyber wife. Humans are like Monkeys Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see. Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time to lighten up.People love attaching themselves to ideas. A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. 3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. Setting History Straight Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. Cloning Advantage Super Families As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one's own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind's greatest drivers of motivation. New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1 Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz. Freudian Slippage Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market to get our supply of fruits and veggies, leaving Sandra to sleep in. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Mexican Spaminator When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right). Marines Dont Take Crap We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them. Voodoo Munchies Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness. How to Build a Cobblestone House He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860. Silver Linings Are Everywhere Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Pee Here Now Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history. Tales of a Spectator Spectator Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race . Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
