Humor Information

Health Club Regulars -- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym


One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars:

1. Screaming Banshee -- We've all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of the weight room. You look over and there's a guy doing laterals with 20 lb dumbbells. It doesn't matter what the exercise or weight is -- he's screaming with every rep. If it helps his workouts, then more power to him! It certainly makes a good case for a Walkman.

2. The Strainer -- The Strainer can often be observed loading up a barbell or weight stack with poundage that he is unable to perform even a single rep in good form with. A favorite exercise of the Strainer is the triceps press down machine. He will position the pin almost near the bottom of the weight stack and then proceed to wrestle the stack downward with every ounce of his being. It's truly painful to watch, but like a car wreck, it's hard to look away.

After using most all of the muscles in his upper body along with several in his lower, he finally manages to complete a rep. "That's one!" Yep, only nine more to go. Oh yeah, don't bother trying to be helpful and tell him to use less weight. You'll only be greeted with a nasty glare.

3. iPod Head Banger -- this is usually a young person, male or female, who seems to have ear buds permanently implanted into their head. Music can be a great inspiration during your workouts, but these folks turn the volume up to 11. Of course everyone in the immediate area can groove to the same jams due to the sound leaking out from their ear buds.

The hazard is that Mr. or Ms Head Banger is usually oblivious to their surroundings and you'll need to shout to get their attention if the need arises. At least you can hear them coming and give them a wide berth.

4. Stanley Steamer -- it's hard to believe, but there are people who actually use their gym memberships just to avail themselves of the locker room amenities. Take Stanley Steamer for example. He may come in on his lunch hour or after work and do some quick cardio work and then it's right back to the locker room. The cardio work is just a pretext for what comes next.

He then will do alternating shifts between the dry sauna and steam room until he's sweated out every last drop of water from his body. This process can go on for up to an hour. "Great for the pores!" he'll tell you as he stands there glistening like a Thanksgiving Butterball. You go Stan!

5. Ken and Barbie -- there are some gym regulars who are so genetically gifted that they have gone into permanent "maintenance mode" for they're training. Their routines consist of a solid core of shaping exercises with the strict rule that they must never, under any circumstances, ever shed one drop of sweat!

No hair is out of place and they look spectacular in their Lycra workout gear. In fact, you seem to never see them wearing anything else, even outside of the gym.

6. Chatty Cathy -- Cathy is a relatively new species that has evolved with the proliferation of cell phones and the trend to use them no matter where we are. She will take up position on the adductor machine and wait for a call -- any call -- which soon arrives without fail.

She'll talk away for minutes on end. Occasionally passing the cell phone to any friends who have joined her for a "workout". She'll use these breaks to get in a few reps on whatever machine she's parked herself on. Just to be fair and balanced, there are also plenty of Chatty Carls as well.

7. Swiss Ball Magician -- this is usually either a personal trainer or staff member who has learned a large repertoire of stability ball exercises from a special course or secret training manual. I marvel at the endless variety of moves they possess!

They're on top of the ball, under it, along side it, between the legs with it, and around the back. They make the Harlem Globe Trotters look like pikers! Actually, I pay close attention when they're around and try to cop some of their moves.

All of these types are well-meaning folks and they are certainly preferable to some of the knuckleheads that sometimes show up at the gym. They make going to the gym the enjoyable and enriching experience that it is.

Rich Rojas

Elliptical Trainer Reviews and Fitness Ideas

http://www.ellipticalhome.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Voice of America

American Muslim Comic Fights Stereotypes With Humor
Voice of America - 14 hours ago
So part of that is to associate positive and beautiful words from our tradition such as Allah with something beautiful and positive - which is humor and ...
Will Obama comply with demands from the US Muslim Brotherhood ... Family Security Matters
all 3 news articles


'Darwin Awards': accidental humor
Baltimore Sun, United States - 4 hours ago
Endless sick humor at darwinawards.com. (9:35 pm, Showtime) Feeding frenzy: Tonight the folks at The Office get some good news, but they still find a way to ...
OFF THE WALL Newsday
all 2 news articles


Seattle Post Intelligencer

Review: 'Bride Wars' has wicked spirit, little humor
Contra Costa Times, CA - 14 hours ago
By Bob Strauss 'BRIDE WARS" could have been your typical cartoonish, early-winter wedding comedy. Although it certainly has moments like that, ...
Kate Hudson sticks to what works for her in ‘Bride Wars’ Access Atlanta
Anne Hathaway: 'Humor Helped me Deal With Love Split' Showbiz Spy
Hathaway puts past behind her, earns awards attention USA Today
Arizona Daily Star - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
all 447 news articles


Wiyos bring humor and music to Amazing Things Saturday
Milford Daily News,  USA - 4 hours ago
By Chris Bergeron/Daily News staff With their band named after New York's most notorious gang, The Wiyos are heading back to Framingham to kick off their ...


Bleacher Report

What's Next for Pac Man Jones? (Humor)
Bleacher Report, CA - 12 hours ago
by Shane Howard (Analyst) It was only a matter of time and today was that time. January 7th, 2009 marked the day that Adam "Don't call me Pac Man anymore" ...


Comic Gallagher smashing notions and watermelons with heavy humor
Evansville Courier & Press, IN - 6 hours ago
At one point, Gallagher asked if he was being funny enough, so he interjected a little political humor concerning embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. ...


Humor: No joke in Minnesota
Tucson Citizen, AZ - 5 hours ago
Barack Obama was cheered by Republicans when he said he will cut taxes on businesses and individuals to stimulate the economy. He also selected a church ...


The Inquisitr

Kelsey Grammer to star in ABC pilot
Variety, CA - Jan 6, 2009
"Everybody Loves Raymond" alum Tucker Cawley is penning the pilot, which will come from Tom Werner's Good Humor TV and Warner Bros. TV. ...
Kelsey Grammer To Return To Television PerezHilton.com
Kelsey Grammer Goes Corporate for ABC Sitcom TV Guide
Kelsey Grammer Cast in New ABC Sitcom Playbill.com
The Inquisitr - Zap2it.com
all 48 news articles


Class Reunion--Humor
NewsBlaze, CA - 17 hours ago
By Martha Rosenberg And that's not counting the people who really can't show up who are listed in the in memoriam section of class handbook. ...


Adams: Anger masks hypocrisy and humor in political circus
Peoria Journal Star, IL - 7 hours ago
By PAM ADAMS Oh, stop with the moaning and wringing of hands over Illinois' comic attempt to fill a vacant US Senate seat. When politics gets this funny, ...

Humor - Google News

home | site map
© 2006