| |
| |
|
Inspirational Information |
|
|
|
The Most Important Investment You Can Make For Your Old Age - And No, Its Not Money!
When I was twenty-two, I was befriended by a woman named Doris who was thirty years older than I was. Although Doris was then a fifty-two year old woman, she did not feel it was inappropriate to befriend me. She did not operate with the social belief that she should choose her friends only from people her own age. We became very close friends and remained so until her death at the age of eight-two. When Doris turned seventy-five, she was already widowed. The week she turned seventy-five, Doris threw two birthday parties for herself, one on a Wednesday night, and one on Saturday. Over thirty different people attended each party. I was the only person invited to both. In all, about seventy of Doris' friends came that week to celebrate her birthday. On both nights many people stayed until past one in the morning. As I looked around the room at both parties that week in amazement, I noticed that the people attending her birthday parties were of all ages. They included toddlers, teens, middle-aged people, and the elderly. Doris had never restricted herself to making friends only within her own age group. She had always made it a point to befriend people of all ages. Consequently, she did not suffer the same social fate so many elderly people face when their circle of same-age friends starts to dwindle from sickness and death. I hoped that when I was the same age as Doris that I would be able to have as many friends and acquaintances gathered to help celebrate my birthday. I didn't know any other people her age who could throw two birthday parties in one week, and have seventy people show up. I wondered how Doris had made so many friends. She had never been wealthy, but over the years Doris and her husband had made a practice of opening their hearts and their home to many people. They not only befriended a lot of people and maintained those friendships over the years, but they also befriended the children of their friends, and stayed friends with the younger generation. I noticed that whenever I brought some of my own friends with me to visit Doris, she never treated my friends as expendable people that she would never see again. She was gracious and kind and interested in all of them. Her caring about each human being was always apparent. When we finished our visit, Doris would often extend an invitation to the friends I had brought to come and visit her again, and many of them did so. When she issued invitations Doris never seemed as if she were inviting people because she was lonely or desperate for company. Her invitations were always genuinely joyful. She loved meeting people and wanted to see them again. As Doris neared the end of her life, she became very ill. Yet, she never lacked for love and support from the many friends she had kept making throughout her whole life. I learned something important that week at Doris' two birthday parties. I realized that we make a big mistake if we tell young and middle-aged people to invest their money for their old age, but neglect to tell them that it is at least as important to invest in relationships with other people. We make a mistake if we don't tell people that it is just as important to invest kindness in the people we meet, and invest our interest in them. There are other kinds of investment accounts besides those that are held by banks. A big bank account won't make up for loneliness in your old age. I decided that if I wanted to have as many friends as Doris did, I would have to keep making friends and keep maintaining friendships my whole life. I would have to make friends with people of all ages, including those much younger and much older than me. Older people confront unique challenges in trying to maintain a satisfying social life. Many people find it difficult to make new friends as they get older. As people age they often face social, health and monetary challenges. Older people may become less physically mobile. They often have less money to spend on recreation and entertainment. Older people are also more likely to suffer from depression. They may be physically frail and afraid to go out at night. Even if they remain healthy themselves, aging people experience the deaths of long time friends and spouses, resulting in a shrinking circle of social and emotional support. In the modern western world, older people are often treated as if their usefulness is finished, and as if what they have to say is not really relevant to the young. A lot of older people are shocked to discover when they retire at the age of sixty or sixty-five, that the friendships they thought had developed at work do not survive the retirement party. In many modern societies, older people are socially marginalized, and left to socialize solely with each other. People in North America are much more segregated along age lines than people in some other parts of the world. In North America, teenagers tend to socialize with other teenagers, and older people are expected to make friends with other older people. No matter where you live, or what your age, you do not need to follow your local society's dictates about what age your friends should be. You do not need to restrict yourself to making friends only with your own age group. If you are concerned that you may be lonely in your later years, the time to start doing something about it is now, no matter what your current age might be. As you grow older, make sure you stay living in the present, not in the past. In your conversations with others, don't be fixated on who you used to be, or on your current ailments. Be willing to make many social approaches to others, no matter what the outcome. Stay interested in the current world, stay optimistic, and keep a youthful, open mind. Royane Real is the author of several self help books available at her website. This article is taken from her new downloadable book titled "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends". Check it out at http://www.royanereal.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Inspirational - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Tim McGraw had it Right - Live Like You Are Dying! Chorus: An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went rocky mountain climbing, "I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu" "And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, "And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." An he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance, "To live like you were dyin'. The Cracked Pot Letters on Life#3Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Discover The Magic Of Doing What You Love Do what you love to do and give it your very best. Whether it's business or baseball, or the theater, or any field. The Shoemaker and the Brat At seventeen years old, I was a brat. A mixture of innocence, immaturity and righteousness. What Footsie Taught Us! We have just inherited a rag, tag and bobtail of a dog called 'Footsie'. She was found three weeks ago wandering around outside a local restaurant for a couple of days looking for food. Magical Wreaths Wreaths are like rings. They represent the Universal Circle ("Let the circle be unbroken ?" as the song lyric goes) and also the idea of circulating love, wealth and prosperity for yourself and neighbours. What is My Life Purpose? Why am I here?If you haven't already asked this question, I'm sure you will. Sooner or later most of us do. A Bad Move Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 7, 2003My husband is a wonderful man, we are in our thirties, well-educated and fairly affluent. However, his mother has been a stumbling block in our relationship from the start. Wow a Butterfly! Okay, I am sure that you clicked on this title out of curiosity. Wow a butterfly; what would a butterfly have to do with self help content? And you are right. What Does it Take to Make Life Better? What does it take for you to pay attention?You've probably heard this said, or said it yourself sometime, "I just realised how precious life is." Maybe you heard it when a relative died or maybe you said it after an accident or some other emotional event, but did you stop to consider the grander meaning to what you say?What if every experience in your life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what your life is all about?Just for a moment, consider the possibilities within that question. The Minds Fancy Dress Party -Or- A Brainstorming Session In Berlin a restaurant opens for anorexics and in Buffalo a lawyer with a stutter wins a court case. When everything you're working on has gone STALE and your own initially promising concepts are starting to annoy you, you need a brainstorming session to get to the missing bits or generate some new ideas. Dolphin Figurines evoke images of wild dolphins: How Do Dolphins Communicate? Researchers are seeking to identify how dolphins communicate. Unfortunately it is like ancient history, once we can decipher the basic 'words' we think we have the message. Its The Little Things That Count Have you ever been in the situation where you have become so focussed on achieving a goal that you have done so at the detriment of everything else in your life?The 'All or Nothing' SyndromeIn a coaching session I had with one of my clients this week, he realised that to complete the goal he wanted to achieve by the end of September, that he has totally neglected every other area of his life.He has fallen into the 'all or nothing' syndrome. 7 Keys for Joyful Living! Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. If there were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers of this Ezine, it would be joy in everything they do!Know your purpose. Unconditional Love is Absolute Freedom to Screw Up Your Life In my lifetime, I have never witnessed enduring unconditional love from another human being. I do not believe it is physically possible. Blessings for the Soul In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. Life Life is what happens to you, while you are making other plans. ( John Lennon )Truly, I think life has no surety. Self-Validation: Living an Empowered Life Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't stop to think that our comments or our actions might hurt another person's feelings.We don't always get enough validation in this world, or perhaps we did not receive enough validation from our parents and our teachers and the people who were around us when we were growing up, so we try to be right and find validation now in this world, sometimes at the expense of other people. Surefire Ways to Develop a Thankful Attitude Spend some time thinking about how good you have it. We know this, but we don't often spend time pondering it. Change is the Only Constant The physics professor with the unruly shock of white hair strolls up to the blackboard, picks up the chalk, and writes a big tilde, then below it an equally large equal sign-thus creating the symbol for "approximately equals."Turning to the amphitheater full of eager students and pointing to the board, he smiles, "Ladies and gentlemen, there is only one ting dot is certain in zee known universe.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
