| |
| |
|
Inspirational Information |
|
|
|
Romance - Can It Last?
I'm a sucker for romance. I love movies where boy meets girl, boy loses girl and, against all odds, they find their way back to each other. Or films about star-crossed lovers, as in Bridges of Madison County, who return to their separate lives forever changed. In real life, though, I have learned to be wary of my own longing to be swept away. It's fun being pursued by an ardent admirer and flattering to be wined and dined in style. But after a few months I ask myself if all this attention leads to anything more than a romp (or two) in bed. In spite of changing times men are still the hunters - they like to give chase and use all their wiles to win the women they desire. They may want to develop a long-term relationship but sometimes it's the thrill of the chase they enjoy most of all. Women, on the other hand, can be lured by romance itself. We want the whole fantasy - usually in the form of an attractive, charismatic man who is more successful than us - and that includes "happily ever after." In a new relationship we believe a man when he claims to miss us and how he'll do anything to keep us in his life. If we are physically intimate with him, those potent love chemicals (like pheromones) kick in, making him even more desirable. We offer him our bodies and our hearts. If things have moved too quickly, we may find that the man we are starting to love is no knight. If he wears armour, it is to protect himself, and as complications arise he may very well jump on his horse and ride away. I find that it takes at least six months to get to know someone. In courtship a man will show you what he assumes you want to see and will do everything in his power to keep your interest. It is difficult for you to judge how sincere he really is. Here are a few ways to tell if your romance will last: 1. What his actions say The proof is not in what he SAYS but in what he DOES. Does he call when he says he will? Is he punctual? He may say that he loves you, but does he give you importance in his life? or do things like watching football with the boys get a higher priority? Too many women make excuses for their men and accept bad behaviour. The truth is, his actions always speak for him. You just need to listen. 2. He pays attention to you Does he recall how you take your coffee, know your favourite cuisine, and just where you need your back rubbed? Is he quick to offer assistance when you need help or do you have to ask him repeatedly before he steps in? A man who really cares about you will use every opportunity to show it. 3. Who is the focus of conversation? Do your conversations usually center around him and his concerns? An interested man wants to know everything about you, from how your day went to what is currently on your mind. Does he sound bored or disinterested when you discuss your work or relationship problems? Not a good sign! Beware, too, of someone who puts you down to build himself up. No matter how "helpful" he appears, pay attention to how his comments make you feel. 4. How he treats others How does he treat his co-workers, family members, or a stranger asking for directions? Pay particular attention to how he speaks to people who are serving him, such as a waitress in a restaurant. Is he polite or arrogant and condescending? Ouch! This is his true character peeking through. 5. You consider him your friend Is he only a lover? Or can you turn to him when you need a shoulder to lean on? Romance with friendship at its core has a much greater chance for success. In the grips of romance, it is easy to be lured by extravagant outings or gifts. However, a man who constantly tries to impress is usually insecure and unable to connect at a deeper level. One day the novelty of getting to know each other will fade and you will be left with each other. What becomes important is how likable your man really is and how honestly you can communicate with each other. For me romance can only last if I perceive my partner as a confident and considerate person whom I can trust. He must prove that he cares by his actions, whether he calls just to hear the sound of my voice or makes time for me in his hectic schedule. With the right man, I feel loved and appreciated - and that's fertile ground for romance. About The Author Copyright 2004 by Thelma Mariano Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
MORE RESOURCES:
Inspirational - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Right Approach Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 9, 2003I grew up in a happy, loving, stable home. My fiance was not as lucky. Giving Importance I call myself semi-retired. I work at a job that takes up 5 hours of my day, 5 days a week. Imagine How Different The World Would Look Just By Knowing What Type of Learner You Are Are you a listener or a writer type of learner?President John Kennedy was a reader and writer. President Lyndon Johnson was a listener. Work In Progress: 10 Benefits of Not Knowing It All 1. You can relax and enjoy your life more if you don't expect yourself to have all the skills, knowledge, and wisdom to carry you forward into the future. Embracing Your Wildness As small children, we were all wild. Not unlike the wolf pup in the den, we ran when we felt like it, sniffed or tasted things to see what they were, yelled when the mood struck us and danced at the drop of a hat. Your James Bond Fantasies Become Real The problem with this is that fantasies usually don't come by chance. You have to plan them yourself. My name is Smarty Jones -- Embracing Gods Glory Our deepest fear us not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. TIES that BIND I have no idea how it started or who launched it. Nevertheless years after all of the women in my family died (they were the initiators of all of our major family events and thingamajigs). Words Of Wisdom Carlos' Words of Wisdom1. Today is your day to exceed, so why live in yesterday. Discernment and Judgement Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It is loving and expansive, and offers freedom, honor and options. No More Frustration: The Thorns of Opportunity - Part II The quest for the ultimate victory.In part one I shared with you how not knowing what you don't know, much like the "thorny" gardener, can rob you of your time, and keep you from enjoying and living the life you want. The Cracked Pot Letters on Life#3Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. An Unquenched Thirst Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 9, 2002I'm engaged to a wonderful, warm and loving man whom I've been with for four years. We have always had mismatched libido. Lesson Learned Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9, 2002I was involved with a man separated from his wife. We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future. Anchors Away! If we want to fill our heads with the doom and gloom society seems to thrive on, all we need to do is turn on the local news at night. To make that quantum leap toward personal happiness and success in life, sometimes we just need to do what so many people seem to be talking about lately: clean house and take personal inventory of the people we associate with most. Eradicating The Heart of Poverty Poverty can sometimes only be a state of mind, based on our perception and what we value in life. It is also a disheartening reality for many. Repeat Offender Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 8, 2002I am a 26-year-old escort, in the business on and off since I was 14. I have a tendency to get involved in very bad relationships. The Power Of Love In Your Life! CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE!"If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. Material Girl Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 16, 2002I recently went on a date with this guy I met online. We had been emailing for a few weeks before we decided to go out together. A Lesson From A Hum Of A Bamboo Clump Have you heard a nature hymn? For example, a whir of ting-a-ling-a-ling sound yielded by bamboo leaves when wind blows to its clump? If you have an opportunity to visit a bamboo garden, try to listen to its hymn. The trees of a bamboo clump will sing along with the wind.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
