| |
| |
|
Positive Attitude Information |
|
|
|
Let Go of Resentment
Maureen worked in an office with twenty other people, processing checks. She didn't particularly like her job, but she didn't particularly dislike it either. Getting ahead in her career wasn't important to her until the day that her friend and co-worker Betty was promoted to be the boss of the unit. Betty had not being doing the job as long as Maureen had, but Betty was always cheerful, hardworking and ambitious, where Maureen had been low-key and easy going. Until Betty got the promotion, Maureen had been reasonable content at her work, even if she had not been outstandingly happy. But once Betty was made supervisor, Maureen began to fill up with resentment until she hated her job and hated Betty. Eventually she developed an ulcer because she was filled with anger all the time. Maureen began to see Betty as the source of all her problems, and she failed to remember that she had not particularly wanted the promotion anyway. She just thought that it should be hers. Instead of examining herself to see what she really wanted out of life, and trying to figure out how she could get it, Maureen became focussed on her resentments. Bill W, who was one of the original founders of the organization Alcoholics Anonymous, spent a lot of time focussing on the role that resentment played in people's lives. Bill W wrote that perhaps an average person could afford to be resentful without causing too many problems, but he noticed that for a person who was an alcoholic and who wanted to learn how to create peace of mind, harboring resentment was a poison that could destroy lives and even drive recovering alcoholics back to drinking. I'm sure that Bill W realized that a lot of average people have problems handling resentment as well, especially when they allow it to fester and grow. One of the main problems with resentment is that in the short term, resentment can feel good. The anger you feel when you are resentful can energize you and seem to give you at least temporarily, a sense of purpose and drive. The problems that resentment can cause usually show up later, when resentment becomes more than a short term emotional reaction to a real or imagined injustice. After a while, some people nurture their sense of resentment until it takes on a life of its own and seems to become a central focus in a person's life. One of the major problems with resentment is that because it is directed outside of yourself, nursing resentment will keep you focussed on believing that your feelings of anger are entirely caused by some outward circumstance or outside person. You stop taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings. You stop looking for what you can do to improve your situation and you stop looking for the possibilities that remain open around you, because you decide that your negative feelings are someone else's fault. You stop trying to find real solutions to your problem. You stop noticing and being grateful for what is actually good in your life. If you decide that resentment is playing too big a role in your life, it's not always easy to change this habit. Most of the time you can't just decide to stop being resentful. The first step is awareness. You need to notice and admit when you are feeling resentful, especially when you let it go on and on. You need to ask yourself if you are truly ready to be less resentful, and to look for ways that you can achieve real solutions in your life. We can all find other people and other circumstances that we can blame for where we are in our lives, but once we make a habit of it, we stay stuck where we are. We need to move beyond blame and work on solutions. Royane Real is the author of several self help books available at her website. Sign up for the free newsletter filled with self improvement ideas at http://www.royanereal.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Universal Thought Systems #4 Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal Thought System is its consistency. Success or Failure: How to Cope With Failure There is no such thing as failure - only feedback - we can learn from our failures. Do not let apparent failures beat you up, learn from them. 5 Ways To Use Mind Power To Maximise Your Potential Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that they feel well? These pills have no healing capabilities. They get well purely because the power to heal came from their beliefs. Your Mediocre Mind Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. ~ A. Creating Positive Environments, Part 1: Using Art One of our most active senses is sight. What we see can affect our outlook and attitude by how its counterpart, our brain, perceives visual information that it filters through its memory banks. Positive Self Talk - What Should You Say? How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self talk or negative? What we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively. How useful is it to always tell yourself "impossible," "more problems," "never," and "I can't?"Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say. How To Have A Life Changing Experience Can you really plan a life-changing experience, or do they just happen? Are they accident's of fate, inherited life forces, or can they be experiences the we choose?A brief story. Soon after graduating I left home for adventure and discovery, and perhaps a life-changing experience. Instant Frequency Boosters: 10 Fast and Simple Ways to Raise Your Vibration When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's a sign that you need to raise your frequency. There are infinite ways you can lift yourself up-pretty much anything that makes you feel better is a frequency booster-even eating ice cream! (The problem with that, though, is that, along with the pleasure in consuming it comes the guilt and remorse about the future ramifications of the indulgence, as well as the immediate toll that the sugar takes on your body and mind, all of which can easily lower your frequency!) Think-what is it that always makes you feel better when you're feeling less than great? Is it exercise? A soak in the tub? A walk in the park? Time in your garden? A snuggle with your sweetie? Why do these activities lift your spirits? It's because they raise your frequency. What?!? No Bananas? "Where are your bananas?" It seemed like a logical question to ask. For all of my forty trips around the sun, bananas were a key item to place in the grocery cart. Accepting Change Well I've finally done it.. Short Cut to Self-Confidence: Say Yes to You! You are the only one that can give confidence to yourself. I've learned this over many years of looking for recognition in all the wrong places, from other people. What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It (The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower, Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., and "Betty" the girlfriend of a rageaholic. Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. How to Get Rid of Stinking Thinking Q: I seem to beat myself before I ever get started. I catch myself trying to talk myself out of doing anything because of all the obstacles I see. Envisioning Your Ideal Self In my work as a professional coach, I've had the opportunity to interact with hundreds of individuals. I've found that people who are successful and fulfilled share common characteristics. How To Self Talk Your Way To Success? Dear Friends,All human beings have a unique ability right from birth, the ability to "think" and express his/her thoughts in the form of "speech", "written words" etc.. How To Radically Improve Your Everyday Experience Of Life In Two Simple Steps Can you do something for me?Tell me?Please don't think tomorrow.What?Yeah, you heard me. All Your Problems Are Based In False Beliefs! All the problems that any individual has in their lives can be found to have roots in what are called "false beliefs". These can be false beliefs about themselves, about other beliefs, about emotions they may harbor or entertain, about others, and about their reality. Clenching? What are you holding onto? Wanta quit?There are many things that we people hold onto. Some of them are more important than others. Five Ways to Be More Encouraging We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed self made person needs encouragement to stay on track and move forward.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
